Happy Blog Anniversary to me! (Belated)

It's official. I can call myself a blogger now. June 7th was my one year anniv. Yep. I know I missed it but it's ok. Everyone knows I have a real job.
And I know this year I haven't been as blogospherically active as one would have hoped, but never fear. I am here.
I am also very cheesy.

Please let me know what you think. If you think. What you love, hate, abhor?

And lastly I would like to thank the academy and my readers (I hope there is more than one) for their continued support and tolerance of my whimsical ways...

Starbucks Confession

I'm hoping this public confession will shame me into quitting.
Let's give it a try.

I have become one of those people whose order goes way beyond the 2 syllable cof-fee. I'm talking waaaaay beyond.

I'm talking "Tall, extra-hot, wet, soy cappuccino." Thats TEN syllables goddammit.

Now let me just explain how I got to this place from our good pal two-syllabled cof-fee. First of all because Starbucks wont use organic milk and I'm lactose intolerant I have to go with soy. This is a whole other issue and there is a huge online petition going round trying to stop Starbucks from using growth-hormone infused milk. Shocking. (big eye-roll.) Soy it is then. That's settled.

Tall doesn't even count in syllable count because it's the freakin' cup size. I wont even go there. I often try to leave it out when ordering but they will bellow back to me.."Tall, Grande?" like I'm such a moron for not specifying.

Then we have the extra-hot bit. OK I don't know about you but I don't like my hot beverages barely lukewarm. I need them to be HOT as the Lord almighty intended it. I don't give a rat's ass about scalding and second-degree burns (and yes I've been victim to some myself but it doesn't deter me. It shouldn't deter you either.)

Then we have the cappuccino--perfectly acceptable as a stand-in for coffee...it is the irresistible charm of the foam after all that's smitten Europeans for decades. But that's where the wet comes in. Now this gets complicated and I don't know that even one living being cares about this, but when you ask for a cappuccino at Starbucks at the exquisite price of $3.85, and they hand you a cup of air, something doesn't feel quite right. I need it to be more than one foamy sip at that price. Wet means more milk but not quite a latte.


Oh sweet Lord, how did I become this person?

Save Internet Radio. Jeez.

Pandora.com is the best thing around. I mean I know I can plug in my iPod at work or sign into Yahoo music (the videos can be distracting however) and then there are always online radio stations which are forever buffering and static-ey. Yuck.
Except when I discovered Pandora. I'm a huge fan and so I decided to be nice and tell the world.
You start by putting in a song. Any old song or artist you love and then you leave the rest to the wonders and joys of technology and out pop a million songs based on the one you put into the system. You can rate, yay or nay songs as you go on and the results get better and better.
God I sound like such a villager.
Now the part that I'm really embarassed about is that this is all so 2005.
Jeez am I the last one in as usual.
Well no that isn't true. I was distinctly one of the first people to be sporting an iPod Nano in Manhattan. Oh those were the days when people would stop me on the streets just for a peek, a stroke, a longing look (I'm talking about my Nano you perv.)
I digress.
Ok so there is some new news. It ain't good new though. As always Congress is after us music lovers. Don't these guys have global warming issues they need to focus on? Jeez. (feeling very jeezy today). A recently passed legislation will force free online radio providers such as Pandora to increase the fees they pay toward royalties by 1200%. No I didn't put an extra zero in there.

Luckily we can all do something about this thanks to the Internet Radio Equality Act. Visit savenetradio.org if you care. Please care or Pandora will be vamooshed.

Unift for Human Use.

This is the stuff that makes blood boil.

We've all see the movie 'Constant Gardener' and yes this really does happen. It caught my eye because it was Kano, Nigeria where my family lived for many years. But lets face it -- Africa as a continent is dealing with the world's bullshit in some way or the other. It just isn't OK.

From the WSJ a week ago:
Nigerian authorities have filed criminal charges and a civil lawsuit accusing Pfizer of illegally testing unapproved drugs on 200 children during a 1996 meningitis epidemic and doing so without their parents' permission.

Officials from Kano, Nigeria's largest state, charged the pharmaceutical giant with counts of criminal conspiracy and voluntarily causing grievous harm in the deaths of children who received the drug, and seek more than $2 billion in damages and restitution from Pfizer in the civil suit, the Washington Post reports. Pfizer denies all the charges. Its researchers are accused of selecting children and infants from a makeshift epidemic camp and giving an untested antibiotic called Trovan to about half, the Post says. The other half were given "a dangerously low dose of a comparison drug made by Hoffmann-La Roche," and "Nigerian officials say Pfizer's actions resulted in the deaths of an unspecified number of children and left others deaf, paralyzed, blind or brain-damaged,"

According to the lawsuit, the researchers didn't obtain consent from the children's families, parents were banned from the ward where their kids were being treated, and the researchers "knew Trovan to be an experimental drug with life-threatening side effects that was 'unfit for human use,'"

Of course no medical records were left in the country.

Pity Paris. Again.

The bitch is out.

There will be no 23-day jail diet. (Read prior Pity Paris post if you don't know what I'm talking about.)

She will rot at home for 40 days now instead with her new favorite accessory--an electronic monitoring "anklet". Now that's hot. I bet the freakin' chihuahua has one to match.

Excuse me but what the &^%$##?
First she gets 46 days which is reduced to 23 (for "good behavior") and now she got away with 3 because of an "undisclosed medical condition"? Hello. Jesus she's probably got Herpes or something. What example are we setting here?

I'll tell you what example. The example that you can do just about anything if you have money and when the media writes things like "Reports have suggested that Hilton has not been eating or sleeping since her arrival last Sunday at the Los Angeles County jail. She has phoned her lawyers to complain about her pillows and blankets and is said to have spent hours sobbing in her cell."

Awww poor baby. I want to barf. I really shouldn't be blogging about this. Not good for health. Must stop now.

Nuts about Nutella.

The thing I dont get the most (ok maybe not the most) about America is the lack of love for Nutella.
I mean sure you can buy at the supermarket, somewhere between PB and J but I can't just go out and get a Nutella crepe, Nutella on a baguette, Nutella croissant and or a Nutella-smothereened waffle like you can anywhere in Europe. Man I love Europe. They have their priorities right over there.
Hazelnut and chocolate in its finest liquidy goo form is clearly priority-worthy material. Don't even think of leaving any European country without indulging in one of these fineries.

I decided to do a bit of research on my favorite substance to lick from a spoon and found to my surprise that Nutella was actually created in the 40's when there was a shortage of chocolate (what an awful world that must have been) and so hazelnuts came to the rescue to create Nutella and extend the chocolate supply. This all happened in Italy thanks to a man named Mr. Ferrero (aaah a certain 'Rocher' comes to mind). See, I thought Nutella was from Belgium but I was wrong. Those Italians sure do know their food. First Mascarpone and now this? It just makes all us non-Italians look so bad.

Anyway, the story gets better. The original form of Nutella was in the form of a tin-foiled wrapped loaf called "pasta gianduja" allowing moms (or mamas as they would have called them) to cut slices of the Nutella and place it between slices of bread. However when kids started to throw the bread away and only eat the hunk of Nutella (very smart kids these were), the company transformed the product into its current gooey joy paste form. Utterly fascinating. Just think if the kids had just shut up and eaten the bread.
Now I quote: "The early version of Nutella spread was received very well once introduced, since it was a much more inexpensive way for people to enjoy something that tasted so good… a kilo of chocolate at the time was 6 times the cost of a kilo of pasta gianduja. So Nutella was a product that everyone could, and did, enjoy. The product became so popular that Italian food stores started a service called "The Smearing". Children could go to their local food store with a slice of bread for a "smear" of "supercrema gianduja."

WOW. Now that's what I call customer service! What a brilliant idea! I think I should open a "Smearing" store!

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

This has been a big performance week for me.

Saw Mary Poppins on Broadway this weekend and Sleeping Beauty by the American Ballet Theatre (that would be ABT to you uncouths) at the Met Opera House last night.

All I can say is goddammit I should go to these things more often! I live in New York city...where else in the world can you see Bert & Mary walk on the ceiling while Princess Aurora dances in an enchanted forest with 20 tutu-clad ballerina beauties...all in the same zip code?

I can't get "just a spoonful of sugar" out of my head. Mary Poppins is highly recommended. After all, who doesn't know the songs..and trust me if you think you don't, they will all come back to you from deep within. I assure you. You must check out the official website for some great sneak peek videos to get a sense of what the show is like. No actually don't. Just go! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious will have you bouncing out of your seat! Even more amazing was the chimney sweeps performance to "Step in Time"....just phenomenal!

You know when you go to Disney World and you see dressed up characters...I remember seeing Cinderella and thinking she was the real thing (listen I was young OK). This girl was born to be Cinderella...this wasn't just a costume on her but she embodied the character in every way-- her blue eyes and blonde hair, her dazzling smile, her grace and charm. Well just as Julie Andrews was born to be the original Mary Poppins back in the 60's, Ashley Brown & Gavin Lee are born to be Mary & Bert. After all, the original movie cast Andrews and Dick Van Dyke are not an easy act to follow.

How nice to be able to buy a ticket (nobody said it was going to be a cheap ticket)to your childhood. Even if for just a few hours. Sigh.

Random.

I read on a random travel blog today..."India is not a place but a feeling."

Me Likey.

Immaculée Ilibagiza

If you don't know who she is, look her up.
I just heard her speak and she has an amazing story to tell.

Immaculée is from Rwanda and survived the genocide. She spent 91 days in a bathroom with seven other Tutsi women being protected and hidden there by a Hutu pastor who was her dad's friend. The bathroom was 3x4 feet. The women were not allowed to speak to each other at all. They ate once every few days. They could only flush the toilet when someone in the adjacent bathroom ran the flush. They were totally cut off from the world and had no idea about the genocide occurring around them. Soon, Immaculée convinced the pastor to place a radio outside the bathroom and they discovered the horrors via good old BBC radio. Then one day hundreds of Hutus stormed the house they were hiding in and from a small hole she saw them brandishing spears...so close to death but they remained undiscovered.

When they were finally out, at a skeletal 65 pounds, she learnt she had lost her family, her neighbors, friends and classmates...everyone she ever knew.

It sounds like a story you read about in a book...and indeed she has written 'Live to Tell' -- a NY Times bestseller. It is something else, on the other hand to actually see, meet and hear a person tell you that kind of story in person. You think it will be hard, weepy and really sad. And it is very sad. But her story and she is all strength, belief in a higher power and radiant smiles. This is a woman who has gone through the unthinkable and yet she is giggling about meeting Brad Pitt. Life really does go on if you just have the will to let it.

Immaculée is beautiful and striking. More so, because she has made peace with her life of desperation and anger. She has turned 91 days of torture into a lifetime of faith and hope and living every second of life to its fullest. She knows she is lucky and that someone up there had a plan for her. And yes, she has even forgiven the Hutus. The same Hutus who ordered every fellow tribesman to kill every Tutsi they could possibly find...even the children because "even the child of a snake is a snake".

Pity Paris.

Can someone please tell me why celebrities in America don't have chauffeurs?

Can someone tell me why I've been on a blogging hiatus for so freakin'long?

I mean really. I just cannot comprehend the countless, incessant and seemingly unecessary arrests for D&DE driving (that would be drunken, drugged & exposed) that Paris Hilton and friends manage to get themselves into.

Here we are. The 4th of June...a dark and rainy summer day. But darker and rainier for those thousands of teeming fans (4 humans and the rest mosquitos) of the chihuahua-carrying real-life Barbie doll. She's off to jail! But wait! There are no jails in the world of Ken and Barbie! There are also no meals of cereal, bread and juice (her first meal in jail).

Bitch will get out even skinnier and then some freakoid will develop the 23-day jail diet.

I just dont understand it. Where are all the chauffeurs in Hollywood? Look at India. Every celebrity has at least 3 drivers. One for the trips to and from the studios (this guy is part-time), one for the trips to the airport, designer shops and who drops and picks up the kids from school or drives celeb's mom around aimlessly. And then there's driver number three who is exclusively reserved for club-hopping and the occassional day-trip trip to jail. Number three also fetches cigarettes, booze and kebabs at varying stages of the night.

Then why so cheap Paris and friends? I mean like regular folk they could get car service for crying out loud! No one is asking you to hail a cab. Why is it they feel the need to get behind the wheel?

Then I read this "The 26-year-old socialite has already booked a make-up artist and chauffeur-driven limousine to take her the 15 miles from her Hollywood home to the jail."

A tad late wouldn't you say? Ummm and since when are you allowed to take make-up artists to prison with you? Oh I'm sorry...how else could she possibly know which shade of lipgloss and mascara would best compliment her orange jump-suit? Poor dear.