"Pothole-Side Exclusive"

Because I didn't post when I got back from my India trip let's all pretend I was just there yesterday ok? OK? Work with me people. This is not my real job.

I know I'm back home (not India home) when I hear three young Indian girls discuss how Rita at Seema's threading salon completely botched her eyebrow. "She was just so bad yaar."
This was the Path train. New Jersey. Love it. Doesn't make me miss home as much now does it?

India was amazing as always. Yes that's where I' ve been. Yes yes I know
the internet connection speeds have greatly improved now but I was on vacay
"yaar". Far too busy stuffing my face with mamma's cooking and "crisp butter
naans" :)

Oh where do I start? It feels like a year ago already. The pulse of India
is thumping so fast and so loud I can't keep up. No one can. You go there
expecting change, knowing it will be different than last time, different than when you lived there, different than ever.

You've heard about the new malls, the latest lounges, the
hip new restaurants...heck even sushi bars, the ever exploding and explosive traffic, spewing cars and filth into the summer sky, but you don't know anything until you're right there. Literally taking it all in. Carbon monoxide and Bipasha Basu's ever-shrinking hemlines. All in the same nano-second.

But the change is not purely a physical one. Physical change is expected of a booming, expanding economy, it is the other change that is hard to digest. The change in the minds, the mindsets, the spirits of the people. It is the change that is evident in a new generation, armed with much skill and money, power and confidence, optimism and a not just hope but certainty. This new generation knows what it takes to succeed and boy are they working hard to get it.

From the call center 'kids' to the IT 'villages' thriving with cerebral activity, India is literally bursting at the seams. In a very good way and in a very scary way. One way are the youth running on UK time or American time, UK accents or American accents, Guess jeans and Esprit watches and the other way bedraggled children, splashing about in potholes, who will never read or write but beaming none-the-less. Not to trivialize their woes but at least they'll have cell phones! Everybody in India has cellphones. Stay "tuned" for more "pothole-side exclusives". *Big Eye Roll*

Masala Popcorn-Lint no More.

One of my many pet peeves? Lint. Just bugs me out man. I wear a lot of very black, very woolly clothes (hey I live in New York and the average temperature is 28 degrees) so pet hair, threads, hair and just all that other white linty crap just will not do.
But we all know them ugly and not-so-little lint roller thingies. You always run out of the refills at the wrong times but more importantly when you really need de-linting is when you're on the go. No one gets lint'ed out sitting around at home! But those roller thingies are so not little purse or even large hobo-bag friendly!

I found the cutest and best product ever! Its the new Scotch 3M pocket lint sheets. They are sticky sheets in the most adorable little colorful and girly portable packaging! Oh don't worry they have some nice gender-neutral packets as well! They fit right into your littlest bag and I am so happy to have discovered this product during the prime of black-coat-wearing season!

ET hits a new low.

I just want to say how disgusted I am with American media. I mean the whole Anna Nicole thing is just so embarassing. I know, I know its our own fault what with the ratings and all. But surely there has to be a limit to all this?
Let the poor girl just die in peace will you? She was crazy, she was beautiful, she was an opportunist, a mother, fat, thin and more crazy. Yes, we were fascinated. But franky I'm just not fascinated by the color and designer and freakin' fabric of her shroud? Sorry I don't mean to be insensitive but I am so utterly disgusted by Entertainment Tonite's coverage of the funeral and their whole dramatization and glamorization of her death. It is appalling. I happened to catch ET while channel surfing on Friday evening. Yes it was the day of her funeral (I knew this because it qualified as "breaking news" on CNN)and they should have covered it, paid some tributes to her and her family etc. and moved on. Instead they went on about how they had *exclusive* rights to the funeral and were the only cameras allowed inside the church. Oh boy, lucky you guys. Must make your mothers so proud. And they didn't stop there. They went on about the wicked wicked mother, the even more wicked 'other father' and proclaimed their love for the 'real father' Howard Stern. We saw his each tear, each curl of the lip, even heard him fart. It was like we were right there in the church with them all.
Did they stop there? No.
They told us we would get to see the actual digging of the grave on Monday "so be sure to tune back in for this graveside exclusive".
That was the point when I threw up silently.
Graveside exclusive?
There are some words that are never ever meant to go together. God didn't make them that way. These are those.

Yo I mad Yo!

Sometimes I think living in this so-called English-speaking country, I am going to completely forget how to speak proper English. The Wren & Martin kind. You know what I mean...the good, righty oh kind of English.
Don't get me wrong...I'm all for the wonderful melting pot I live in, heck I'm a key ingredient but why do some of the other ingredients choose to speak the way they do? She mad yo. She got back like yo mamma.
This is what I'm hearing on the new America's Next Top Model (oh you know how much I love this trashy show) but what is up (yo) with the ghetto version this season (yo). Its like they (the producers) decided they just would NOT pick anyone who could speak normally. We have some gangsta, some ghetto and a non-English speaking Russian doll. But wait we all know how ghetto Tyra Banks can be. Dammit. It just kills me to see so many beautiful girls who you just wish would not open their mouths. I know this isn't Miss USA but some speaking skills? Any? And trashy is taken to another level with titties popping out on a runway show for high school students, poor pure Miss Alabama getting to pose as a "Ho" (how is it OK to say that on national TV?) and last week the Southern Belle virginal-type was in a hot lesbian photo shoot. So uncomfortable when there are so many other women dying to play ho.
What is going on peeps? Trashy and Psycho. That is how I would describe this season. Oh yeah did I mention whiney?

Poor Miss Alabama just got kicked off. You ain't no ho beeatch.