Hungover Mondays.

Big news this weekend, successful missile launch by India, TomKat finally tied the knot and held a three-minute long 'you may now kiss the bride' kiss. Oh wait, do scientologists say that? Oh and the FDA lifted the ban on silicone breast implants. Lovely!

But till I have time to pull it all apart (this is a short and therefore highly compressed week) here is a somber note to start your week. Naaat. (Somebody stop me.)
From a dear friend. It was nothing personal. Just a random forward. Promise.

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk...
a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk...
a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are ABSOLUTELY IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...
a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more booze for me.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) No kebab for me, thank you.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no
co-ordination. I'd hate to look like a fool.
i) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.