Fly like a Maharani.

This was the first time in a while I flew so much domestically in India. Back when I lived there we had Indian Airlines and that was about it. The average age of an air hostess was 45 and she was 'aunty'. The new Indian air space is now occupied with an impressive new fleet of new generation air companies. Kingfisher, Jet, Spice and some not so impressive Air Deccan and a few others whose names I don't remember but they were clearly not that memorable.

Kingfisher and Jet were so impressive though. These airlines define Indian hospitality and make me truly proud. I flew Jet all the way to the Andamans, Mumbai to Chennai, Chennai to Port Blair and I really enjoyed the ride. I mean when was the last time you enjoyed economy class on an airplane? OK so I was upgraded on one of the sectors which was lovely (especially because the reason I was upgraded was that I was really late and almost missed my flight so basically they had no choice other than to give me a business class seat-ha!)but even in economy, tucking into my deliciously aromatic hot Indian meal, smiling staff all around, comfy cushy seats and personalized in-flight entertainment, good-looking and attentive attendants, what more does a girl need?

It's really impressive given the crowd in the air these days. The air has become accessible to anyone in today's India and that presents an interesting new challenge in the world of airline passenger etiquette. Well basically it doesn't exist. The patience and love required on the part of the airline becomes all the more critical to ensuring a smooth flying experience for all and I have to say *some* airlines are doing an outstanding job. On the other hand certain airlines, like Air Deccan, which I had the misfortune of flying back from Port Blair to Chennai and then Chennai to Pune, are just struggling to play nice. They fuss over each gram of luggage, offer you over-priced, awful pre-packaged food and there aren't too many smiles to be seen in general.

In an environment of cheap tickets and last-minute deals and bargains, a lot is being sacrificed. Like the time when I was being crammed and jammed onto a bus (in India you take a bus to get to your plane on the tarmac) with about 700 hundred people and I couldn't understand why the airline staff couldn't crowd control. I mean was the plane going to take off without us? Did the entire planeful of people really need to be shoved into a single non-airconditioned bus?
Anyway moral of the story is that there is a lot of inconsistency out there so what you pay is what you get. The good is really great stuff and the rest is pretty 'eh'. It's good to have choices though. Lots of choices in my new India.

India Calling.

It’s really tragic because I thought I would do all this blogging in India and I wrote just the one blog entry there (which was gorgeous by the way) and thanks to the perils of blackberry I lost the entire thing! I want to scream in anguish for each letter that I painstakingly pecked out on my blackberry and just the thought that I was praising that little evil device in my mind and saying how it was so much better than lugging a laptop all over India....aargh!
I do have some stupidity role to play in all of this but we won’t go there. Listen it’s my blog and I can do what I want to.

SO.
India. 6 weeks huh? Yep. Lovely. Aaaasum. Yip. Totally.

So much to say that I'm reduced to valley-inspired monosyllables. Sigh.
Let me try to vaguely recall the blog entry I wrote.
Well it was something about how lush and green India is and as my plane was landing in Chennai I was really shocked at how green it was. I was on my way to the lovely islands of the Andamans, specifically Havelock island, flying from Bombay (Mumbai, Bombay, Chennai, Madras, potato, potaaaato...I really can’t keep up anymore) Anyway I was gushing. I clearly remember a lot of gushing and a lot of thinking that I was such an idiot to just keep coming to India once a year, going straight to Pune where my family lives and then a courtesy trip to Bombay (that too mainly because its my port of embarkation and disembarkation) and basically never traveling anywhere else in India. They key in India, I've realized so late in life, is to get the hell out of the cities. I mean don’t get me wrong, I love each bustling, choked to the brim, wildly traffic jammed and polluted city with my dear life but oh life outside the cities is what India is really all about. Not the malls. Oh those damn malls. Don’t get me started on the malls.

Its the children playing, the little water buffalos, the rolling plains, the endless fields of sugarcane and wheat, the cute little chai stalls, the deep green rivers, the mango trees, the palm trees, the loud chirpy birds...oh I could go and on. Its all just so lovely. Yes I've lost my mind but I don’t want to go to India only to have my relatives take me to a mall. I mean I'm the biggest shopaholic I know (after Radhika) but I could go to Jersey Gardens just around the highway and get a pair of Guess jeans for just about one-tenth of the price you get them in India! Those fancy Indian malls are such a rip-off! Body Shop is twice as expensive in India! So there you have me shopping at Khadi Gram Udyog and everyone thinks I'm so not cool.
Anyway I traveled a lot this time around and I have made a vow to travel a whole lot more. I feel awful when I meet people around the world who are not Indian and have seen way more India than I have. There is so much to see and so little time. This time around I went to the Andaman Islands, Goa (ok I've been there before but it still counts as traveling) and from my post in Delhi, I went to Haridwar and Rishikesh. Ok its not an awful lot of traveling but not bad when you're spending a lot of time with family. Next time I am doing Rajasthan and Kerala. I'm dying to go to Kashmir as well. Leh and Ladakh is where it’s at.

India just shocks me each time. The malls are snazzier, the richer get richer and sadly the poorer get poorer. Or at least they seem poorer in the face of everything else thats going on around them. The restaurants are so fancy and absolutely packed to the brim any night of the week. Packed with all kinds of folks too. This isn’t the India I grew up in, the one where only the upper-middle and upper went to the few restaurants in town over the weekends, the one where clubs were only packed with the rich cool kids and their rich cool friends, the one where only a select few had cell phones and laptops, the one where traveling abroad was considered truly wow and exceptional. This new India is like another country. Everyone is the boss here and everyone has a cell phone at their disposal, everyone is connected and everyone is cool. Everyone who is anyone has lots of cash and is going to spend every last dime of it showing you how much cash they have. It’s an India that screams 'Let me show you what I've got. Can you handle this?'

End of the Holidays. Brought to you by Starbucks.

Is it really sad that the end of the Holidays for me is marked by Starbucks changing their cups back to the normal white ones? Ok that and the ginormous Rockefeller tree coming down. But mainly the demise of the red Stabucks cup.

That's really sad in so many ways.

You know what I'm talking about right? You know, every year Starbucks changes its cups to the red Holiday cheery ones...sometime around November. Ok thats a lie..its usually sometime right after Labor day weekend because Starbucks is in such a freakin' hurry to celebrate each festival. I mean every year, Jan 1st and they have their full-on Valentines Day collection out.

Anyway since October till just a few days ago we Starbucks drinkers (no I did not quit) were roaming around with our cheery red paper cups of overpriced caffeine and now we are back to the plain white cups of overpriced caffeine. It just makes me so sad the Holidays are over. Can't they have pink cups for Valentines Day?
Its people like me who promote consumerism.
Sigh.

Viva Mehico!

I have to say I don't think most Indians consider Mexico when thinking of a vacation destination because why on earth would we visit another third world country when we could just visit our own? Lets face it...we are a bit obsessed with the clean, dainty, quainty Switzerland and Scotland type destinations. Either that or Disney World. Or Bali, Malaysia...well ok all of Asia. The Caribbean is good too. Ok Ok basically a lot of other countries come to mind except Mexico. I know this because personally I never considered Mexico and once I decided I was going there a lot of my Indian friends said "oh really?"

Hmmm.
Well its time to reconsider my darlings. Mexico is a D-R-E-A-M.
For those of us living in the continental US its a wonderful hop, stop and jump away (less than 4 hours non-stop from New York!)to a place that’s wonderfully like home. Warm, sunny, golden. Delicious spicy food and lovely friendly locals. The trick is knowing where to go. Avoiding places like Cancun like the plague is usually a good start. That’s where the fat all-inclusive crowd hangs out...yep, the ones wearing 'I Love Mehico' T-shirts dragging sombrero wearing screaming kids and badly dressed wives wearing too much jewelry.

My husband and I scooted straight down to Tulum in our dinky little Chevy car which reminded me so much of my Maruti 800 from many years ago. Tulum is 2 hours south of Cancun. The good news is its pretty easy to avoid Cancun because the airport is outside the hotel zone and sets you off in the right direction toward the south, avoiding the spring break city altogether. I'm sorry for using the word 'avoid' so much here.

It’s so nice to see signs with distances in kilometers! The drive south is pretty uneventful barring random speed-breakers that appear out of nowhere with the 'caution' sign right next to the speed breaker mocking your mortal stupidity (and mortality) as you fly over it at 100km/hr. This, in a dinky Chevy is not so much fun. Otherwise all else is fun.

Fun, fun, fun. Alliterations are big for me this year.

There are cute little towns all the way down to Tulum...we will talk about some of those later. Playa Del Carmen is the one of note. Party city. Fun times. Don't even think about staying there unless you are 18. This is the new Cancun. Without the fat people. In fact, everyone is pretty damn thin and sexy in PDC.

Back to Tulum. And I promise to blog about Tulum in way more detail...but for now suffice to say its such a dreamy location...so Goa-like and you MUST go. Yes I know you've never heard of it...neither had I. But mi amigo...this is a truly unique place. A laid-back vibe, stunning beaches, Mayan ruins, eco-cabanas on the beach, a massive-ass biosphere. Overall, such a fantabulous respect and balance and harmony with nature. It reminded me of Pune in the 80's. I miss Pune in the 80's. Quaint little shops on MG Road, not too many people around..especially during the afternoon siesta hour, pleasant breezy evenings, lots of pretty trees, no electricity half the time.

More on Tulum soon.

Happy New New!

Aaaah I'm back. Tis' the season of many new resolutions, aspirations, determinations...and I'm hoping a fresh new stream of writing. I love writing. I'm hoping I will succumb more often to its thereapeutic charm. I have also been dealing with ongoing guilt pangs as a result of several friends positive feedback on my writing ...an outcome of my own shameless promotion of my blog on Facebook. I should just tell you all know that I'm thoroughly addicted to Facebook. Yes as much as I am to Starbucks. Dammit...why does this blog make me so honest? Anyway I'm feeling pressured (in a good way) to keep writing because I can't have people reading stale news! I owe them some fresh, some new, some happy new new!

I just got an email with some funny quotes...very time appropriate as I sit here wondering about my resolutions and whether I should be a rebel and not keep any at all (that would be the weak side of me who knows the truth) or go with the goat-herd flow and maintain the standard lose weight, quit smoking, have babies, stop global warming (why is remembering to take the charger out of the socket so damn hard?) genre of resolutions. Sigh.

Anyway here are those quotes I was telling you about. Resolutions anyone?

"A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other." - Author unknown

"Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits." - Author unknown

"New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual." - Mark Twain

The last one is my favorite.

Tribute to T

A "tantalizing" composition in "T".
Written by the "terrifically talented" Pranay Mehra. Here's "Toasting Thirteen" :)

______________________________________________________

Tuesday the Tenth, Two Thousand Three, Ten Twenty Two:

Teething tot Tiffany Thomas Taylor thought to try three things: tasting tangy tomatoes, teasing tiny tarantulas, then traveling to the tropical Tanzanian timberland to talk to the tall trees.

The tot threw the tomatoes then tried to taste the tarantulas. Though Tiffany's two tender thumbs trapped the three tiny tarantulas, the treacherous things teased the tot till teething tiny's terrible temper triggered the twisted tactic. Timid Tiffany transformed to Terrifying Tiffany. The tot tittered, took the tiniest tarantula, twisted the tibia till the truncated tentacle tumbled three times, then threw the target towards the two trembling terrestrials. Tiffany, triumphant, then takes the three tomatoes. The tomatoes thankfully tasted terrific.

Tiny Tiffany's tricks-to-torture-three-tarantulas tale traveled to the tropical Tanzanian timberland, terrifying the terrestrials, turning them topsy-turvy. Tiffany, too, told these tales till tiny tiffany turned thirty two.

Tuesday the tenth, Two Thousand Thirty Three (twilight)
Three tarantulas tiptoe thru Taylor's terrace. Trashy Taylor tipples the third teacup. Thoughts to try three things tease the toasted thirty three's think-tank…

--------------------------------
Trivia: (Terrific!)
Word count: 181 words, all starting with T
Avg length of T word = 6 characters

Smelly Smelly. Poo Poo.

As I walked through the household de-odorizing (products that remove odors from places other than your underarms) aisle in Target last night I had the sudden looming thought that I was doing something drastically wrong with my domestic scent-being. Not well-being, scent-being. What is going on in this country?
First the obsession with teeth-whitening products and now this?

The hundreds of brands and product innovations (I’m talking fans, plug-in things, CD player thingies and more) dedicated to getting rid of the odor in your house makes me wonder if everyone but me lives in a pig-sty. I mean I understand the average home may have a stinky diaper, rotting banana peel and heck even a 3-week old slice of pizza lying around somewhere but does this really call for the odor-banishing army? From odor-busting garbage bags to thousands of candles in various scents of nauseating, to spray this, bust that, oust this, joust that….do you have a 100 dying rats in there? What is going on?

Ladies, if your garbage bag stinks… just take it out or rather…have your husband/boyfriend take it out. Why would you spray it with some ozone-killing product to ‘try and eliminate odors from the source’ as one Lysol commercial puts it. The source of that stink is saying throw me out…plain and simple really. The banana peel isn’t looking for a new cologne.

I really wanted to stand around that odor-eliminating product aisle for a few days to find out who exactly is buying these products, how many of them and why?
I would award these shoppers a free trip to India or Bangkok or somewhere lovely like that so they really understand and appreciate the full varietals of odors and smells that exist out in the real world. Maybe a $2 subway ride would do the trick too.

I’m not saying your house should smell like a homeless man in the subway or the gorgeous canals of Calcutta (are there even canals in Calcutta?) but I don’t think your home should smell like ‘apple spice and delights’ or ‘blossoms and breeze’ all year long either. I mean how would you then really enjoy the smell of blossoms on the spring or apples at the Farmers market…nothing would smell special or unique at all...everything would smell like...like your couch.

I just think we need to stop artificially changing things and covering things up. So many products claim to eliminate odors rather than just cover them up…how on earth does that happen exactly? Nuclear power? If something can zap that diaper smell right off this planet then trust me you don’t want it in your house! And I'm not talking about the diaper!

Its time to get off our lazy asses and take the garbage out. Once you've done that take a nice deep breath of 'this is what my house smells like as nature intended it'.

Save de-odorizing for your armpits. Oh and save the planet.

Demo-socio-econo-targeting on Craigslist

My friend Vishal just sent this to me. And since I'm in copy-pasting of crazy commentary on the web mode I bring it to you this day. Pretty freakin' hilarious! Hard to believe its real...but it sadly is indeed. Oh Craigslist. What have you unleashed.

Some girl posted "Seeking Man Making $500K" on craigslist recently, the following is her posting and one of the comments she gets.

POSTING
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly
beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New
York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million
a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is
middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you
send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 -
250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to
central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an
investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor
is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her
level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- - Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

- -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings

- -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- - Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side
so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to
offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls
in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- - Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker,
doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out?
Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- - How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE
ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way.
Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it.
I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match
them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and
hearth.

- it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other
commercial interests

PostingID: 432279810

RESPONSE
Dear Pers-431649184:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about
your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly,
I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I
make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my
money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money
will likely continue into perpetuity*in fact, it is very likely that my
income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting
any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates!
Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5
years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a
fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and
hold*hence the rub*marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy
you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think
I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so
would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that.
So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I
wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you
has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if
you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if
not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we
wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic
"pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease,
let me know

Incredible or not.

I was just looking up the Incredible India event on Google to find some photographs (for personal reasons...there is this Ritu Kumar kurta I saw at Sunday's fashion show and kind of want..) anyway why is it so impossible to get coverage on this event? They did such a fab job with the outdoor advertising in New York but no one really knew what the event was-who was coming, what the program was, what the big deal was. It was all so amateurishly vague. Except the show was far from amateur. It was quite decent really. They may have wanted to tell people more about the actual event. Thats all.
Anyway what I did find were some hilarious comments. Read on:

Incredible foolishness!!!!!!!!
by (some dude..have deleted his name) on Sep 26, 2007 09:45 PM
"India is truly incredible. Which other country will showcase itself in New York, while ignoring the water, power and urban mess back home. In the name of promotion, this is just a free junket for our political class. They are showcasing the Taj Mahal in New York, while a visit to the real Taj in Agra remains a nightmare!!!!! Is anyone listening?"

No dude. No one is listening.

Response to comment above (from another dude):
"Oh yes India is incredible we have 330 Million gods in India, 1 each for 3 persons, forget the shortage of basic necessities, who needs them anyway when we have god per 3 persons in India, then Indians will definitely get to heavens!!!"

"wow. what are you smoking?"

more comments:

"Indian government have you taken the permission from Left and communist parties for Incredible India@NYC show.
Yechury , Karat and party where are you why no objection and agitation."

excuse me?

"if they showcase bollywood movies which are straight lifts of hollywood hits in US, they will think that the whole of India are third rates. no bollywood please. we are rich in music, art and culture. we do not need Bollywod here which doesn't show real India anyway."

OK....

I think the last comment is interesting because while watching some of the shows I was thinking to myself..hmmm a Bollywood dance would have been more interesting than this lovely but drab folksy number. Drab only because without the nuances of the language and someone explaining the damn storyline, folk dances don't make for much eye candy. And as an Indian if I don't get it...then pray tell..who will? Let's face it. Bollywood is fun. is racy. is exciting. Is very India. Why shy away?

Made in China?

In the headlines today: China executed its former chief food and drug regulator today for accepting bribes to approve unsafe medicines as Beijing sought to salvage its export market's tarnished reputation.
Wow.
I knew China was in some hot water over the lack of regulation and the whole pet food thing really had me going crazy. But execution? That's pretty harsh. No wait. Very harsh.
In today's day and age, executing a government official is about as unheard of as a six-legged cow. But China ain't messing around here. This is their way of telling the world they are taking this matter very seriously.
And they should. The number of products that have hit the market lately making people and animals sick, even killing them is completely unacceptable. Zheng, who was executed earlier today was the former head of China's Food and Drug Safety administration and accused of accepting bribes, letting harmful products slip by..and into the States.
It is indeed a scary thought. So much of what we buy comes from all over the world. And I'm not just talking about Danish cheese.
We have no way of knowing what is safe and what isn't. And while a developing nation such as China survives on the the power of "made in China"...we shall sit here and wonder can we really trust anything anymore?

Kids in India have a funny saying that goes "sorry doesn't make a dead man come alive". While Zheng's execution was a big sorry to the world, so much damage has already been done.

Happy Blog Anniversary to me! (Belated)

It's official. I can call myself a blogger now. June 7th was my one year anniv. Yep. I know I missed it but it's ok. Everyone knows I have a real job.
And I know this year I haven't been as blogospherically active as one would have hoped, but never fear. I am here.
I am also very cheesy.

Please let me know what you think. If you think. What you love, hate, abhor?

And lastly I would like to thank the academy and my readers (I hope there is more than one) for their continued support and tolerance of my whimsical ways...

Starbucks Confession

I'm hoping this public confession will shame me into quitting.
Let's give it a try.

I have become one of those people whose order goes way beyond the 2 syllable cof-fee. I'm talking waaaaay beyond.

I'm talking "Tall, extra-hot, wet, soy cappuccino." Thats TEN syllables goddammit.

Now let me just explain how I got to this place from our good pal two-syllabled cof-fee. First of all because Starbucks wont use organic milk and I'm lactose intolerant I have to go with soy. This is a whole other issue and there is a huge online petition going round trying to stop Starbucks from using growth-hormone infused milk. Shocking. (big eye-roll.) Soy it is then. That's settled.

Tall doesn't even count in syllable count because it's the freakin' cup size. I wont even go there. I often try to leave it out when ordering but they will bellow back to me.."Tall, Grande?" like I'm such a moron for not specifying.

Then we have the extra-hot bit. OK I don't know about you but I don't like my hot beverages barely lukewarm. I need them to be HOT as the Lord almighty intended it. I don't give a rat's ass about scalding and second-degree burns (and yes I've been victim to some myself but it doesn't deter me. It shouldn't deter you either.)

Then we have the cappuccino--perfectly acceptable as a stand-in for coffee...it is the irresistible charm of the foam after all that's smitten Europeans for decades. But that's where the wet comes in. Now this gets complicated and I don't know that even one living being cares about this, but when you ask for a cappuccino at Starbucks at the exquisite price of $3.85, and they hand you a cup of air, something doesn't feel quite right. I need it to be more than one foamy sip at that price. Wet means more milk but not quite a latte.


Oh sweet Lord, how did I become this person?

Save Internet Radio. Jeez.

Pandora.com is the best thing around. I mean I know I can plug in my iPod at work or sign into Yahoo music (the videos can be distracting however) and then there are always online radio stations which are forever buffering and static-ey. Yuck.
Except when I discovered Pandora. I'm a huge fan and so I decided to be nice and tell the world.
You start by putting in a song. Any old song or artist you love and then you leave the rest to the wonders and joys of technology and out pop a million songs based on the one you put into the system. You can rate, yay or nay songs as you go on and the results get better and better.
God I sound like such a villager.
Now the part that I'm really embarassed about is that this is all so 2005.
Jeez am I the last one in as usual.
Well no that isn't true. I was distinctly one of the first people to be sporting an iPod Nano in Manhattan. Oh those were the days when people would stop me on the streets just for a peek, a stroke, a longing look (I'm talking about my Nano you perv.)
I digress.
Ok so there is some new news. It ain't good new though. As always Congress is after us music lovers. Don't these guys have global warming issues they need to focus on? Jeez. (feeling very jeezy today). A recently passed legislation will force free online radio providers such as Pandora to increase the fees they pay toward royalties by 1200%. No I didn't put an extra zero in there.

Luckily we can all do something about this thanks to the Internet Radio Equality Act. Visit savenetradio.org if you care. Please care or Pandora will be vamooshed.

Unift for Human Use.

This is the stuff that makes blood boil.

We've all see the movie 'Constant Gardener' and yes this really does happen. It caught my eye because it was Kano, Nigeria where my family lived for many years. But lets face it -- Africa as a continent is dealing with the world's bullshit in some way or the other. It just isn't OK.

From the WSJ a week ago:
Nigerian authorities have filed criminal charges and a civil lawsuit accusing Pfizer of illegally testing unapproved drugs on 200 children during a 1996 meningitis epidemic and doing so without their parents' permission.

Officials from Kano, Nigeria's largest state, charged the pharmaceutical giant with counts of criminal conspiracy and voluntarily causing grievous harm in the deaths of children who received the drug, and seek more than $2 billion in damages and restitution from Pfizer in the civil suit, the Washington Post reports. Pfizer denies all the charges. Its researchers are accused of selecting children and infants from a makeshift epidemic camp and giving an untested antibiotic called Trovan to about half, the Post says. The other half were given "a dangerously low dose of a comparison drug made by Hoffmann-La Roche," and "Nigerian officials say Pfizer's actions resulted in the deaths of an unspecified number of children and left others deaf, paralyzed, blind or brain-damaged,"

According to the lawsuit, the researchers didn't obtain consent from the children's families, parents were banned from the ward where their kids were being treated, and the researchers "knew Trovan to be an experimental drug with life-threatening side effects that was 'unfit for human use,'"

Of course no medical records were left in the country.

Pity Paris. Again.

The bitch is out.

There will be no 23-day jail diet. (Read prior Pity Paris post if you don't know what I'm talking about.)

She will rot at home for 40 days now instead with her new favorite accessory--an electronic monitoring "anklet". Now that's hot. I bet the freakin' chihuahua has one to match.

Excuse me but what the &^%$##?
First she gets 46 days which is reduced to 23 (for "good behavior") and now she got away with 3 because of an "undisclosed medical condition"? Hello. Jesus she's probably got Herpes or something. What example are we setting here?

I'll tell you what example. The example that you can do just about anything if you have money and when the media writes things like "Reports have suggested that Hilton has not been eating or sleeping since her arrival last Sunday at the Los Angeles County jail. She has phoned her lawyers to complain about her pillows and blankets and is said to have spent hours sobbing in her cell."

Awww poor baby. I want to barf. I really shouldn't be blogging about this. Not good for health. Must stop now.

Nuts about Nutella.

The thing I dont get the most (ok maybe not the most) about America is the lack of love for Nutella.
I mean sure you can buy at the supermarket, somewhere between PB and J but I can't just go out and get a Nutella crepe, Nutella on a baguette, Nutella croissant and or a Nutella-smothereened waffle like you can anywhere in Europe. Man I love Europe. They have their priorities right over there.
Hazelnut and chocolate in its finest liquidy goo form is clearly priority-worthy material. Don't even think of leaving any European country without indulging in one of these fineries.

I decided to do a bit of research on my favorite substance to lick from a spoon and found to my surprise that Nutella was actually created in the 40's when there was a shortage of chocolate (what an awful world that must have been) and so hazelnuts came to the rescue to create Nutella and extend the chocolate supply. This all happened in Italy thanks to a man named Mr. Ferrero (aaah a certain 'Rocher' comes to mind). See, I thought Nutella was from Belgium but I was wrong. Those Italians sure do know their food. First Mascarpone and now this? It just makes all us non-Italians look so bad.

Anyway, the story gets better. The original form of Nutella was in the form of a tin-foiled wrapped loaf called "pasta gianduja" allowing moms (or mamas as they would have called them) to cut slices of the Nutella and place it between slices of bread. However when kids started to throw the bread away and only eat the hunk of Nutella (very smart kids these were), the company transformed the product into its current gooey joy paste form. Utterly fascinating. Just think if the kids had just shut up and eaten the bread.
Now I quote: "The early version of Nutella spread was received very well once introduced, since it was a much more inexpensive way for people to enjoy something that tasted so good… a kilo of chocolate at the time was 6 times the cost of a kilo of pasta gianduja. So Nutella was a product that everyone could, and did, enjoy. The product became so popular that Italian food stores started a service called "The Smearing". Children could go to their local food store with a slice of bread for a "smear" of "supercrema gianduja."

WOW. Now that's what I call customer service! What a brilliant idea! I think I should open a "Smearing" store!

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

This has been a big performance week for me.

Saw Mary Poppins on Broadway this weekend and Sleeping Beauty by the American Ballet Theatre (that would be ABT to you uncouths) at the Met Opera House last night.

All I can say is goddammit I should go to these things more often! I live in New York city...where else in the world can you see Bert & Mary walk on the ceiling while Princess Aurora dances in an enchanted forest with 20 tutu-clad ballerina beauties...all in the same zip code?

I can't get "just a spoonful of sugar" out of my head. Mary Poppins is highly recommended. After all, who doesn't know the songs..and trust me if you think you don't, they will all come back to you from deep within. I assure you. You must check out the official website for some great sneak peek videos to get a sense of what the show is like. No actually don't. Just go! Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious will have you bouncing out of your seat! Even more amazing was the chimney sweeps performance to "Step in Time"....just phenomenal!

You know when you go to Disney World and you see dressed up characters...I remember seeing Cinderella and thinking she was the real thing (listen I was young OK). This girl was born to be Cinderella...this wasn't just a costume on her but she embodied the character in every way-- her blue eyes and blonde hair, her dazzling smile, her grace and charm. Well just as Julie Andrews was born to be the original Mary Poppins back in the 60's, Ashley Brown & Gavin Lee are born to be Mary & Bert. After all, the original movie cast Andrews and Dick Van Dyke are not an easy act to follow.

How nice to be able to buy a ticket (nobody said it was going to be a cheap ticket)to your childhood. Even if for just a few hours. Sigh.

Random.

I read on a random travel blog today..."India is not a place but a feeling."

Me Likey.

Immaculée Ilibagiza

If you don't know who she is, look her up.
I just heard her speak and she has an amazing story to tell.

Immaculée is from Rwanda and survived the genocide. She spent 91 days in a bathroom with seven other Tutsi women being protected and hidden there by a Hutu pastor who was her dad's friend. The bathroom was 3x4 feet. The women were not allowed to speak to each other at all. They ate once every few days. They could only flush the toilet when someone in the adjacent bathroom ran the flush. They were totally cut off from the world and had no idea about the genocide occurring around them. Soon, Immaculée convinced the pastor to place a radio outside the bathroom and they discovered the horrors via good old BBC radio. Then one day hundreds of Hutus stormed the house they were hiding in and from a small hole she saw them brandishing spears...so close to death but they remained undiscovered.

When they were finally out, at a skeletal 65 pounds, she learnt she had lost her family, her neighbors, friends and classmates...everyone she ever knew.

It sounds like a story you read about in a book...and indeed she has written 'Live to Tell' -- a NY Times bestseller. It is something else, on the other hand to actually see, meet and hear a person tell you that kind of story in person. You think it will be hard, weepy and really sad. And it is very sad. But her story and she is all strength, belief in a higher power and radiant smiles. This is a woman who has gone through the unthinkable and yet she is giggling about meeting Brad Pitt. Life really does go on if you just have the will to let it.

Immaculée is beautiful and striking. More so, because she has made peace with her life of desperation and anger. She has turned 91 days of torture into a lifetime of faith and hope and living every second of life to its fullest. She knows she is lucky and that someone up there had a plan for her. And yes, she has even forgiven the Hutus. The same Hutus who ordered every fellow tribesman to kill every Tutsi they could possibly find...even the children because "even the child of a snake is a snake".

Pity Paris.

Can someone please tell me why celebrities in America don't have chauffeurs?

Can someone tell me why I've been on a blogging hiatus for so freakin'long?

I mean really. I just cannot comprehend the countless, incessant and seemingly unecessary arrests for D&DE driving (that would be drunken, drugged & exposed) that Paris Hilton and friends manage to get themselves into.

Here we are. The 4th of June...a dark and rainy summer day. But darker and rainier for those thousands of teeming fans (4 humans and the rest mosquitos) of the chihuahua-carrying real-life Barbie doll. She's off to jail! But wait! There are no jails in the world of Ken and Barbie! There are also no meals of cereal, bread and juice (her first meal in jail).

Bitch will get out even skinnier and then some freakoid will develop the 23-day jail diet.

I just dont understand it. Where are all the chauffeurs in Hollywood? Look at India. Every celebrity has at least 3 drivers. One for the trips to and from the studios (this guy is part-time), one for the trips to the airport, designer shops and who drops and picks up the kids from school or drives celeb's mom around aimlessly. And then there's driver number three who is exclusively reserved for club-hopping and the occassional day-trip trip to jail. Number three also fetches cigarettes, booze and kebabs at varying stages of the night.

Then why so cheap Paris and friends? I mean like regular folk they could get car service for crying out loud! No one is asking you to hail a cab. Why is it they feel the need to get behind the wheel?

Then I read this "The 26-year-old socialite has already booked a make-up artist and chauffeur-driven limousine to take her the 15 miles from her Hollywood home to the jail."

A tad late wouldn't you say? Ummm and since when are you allowed to take make-up artists to prison with you? Oh I'm sorry...how else could she possibly know which shade of lipgloss and mascara would best compliment her orange jump-suit? Poor dear.