Oh Anchal!

Ok when a show over-focuses on one person through the entire episode, it's no surprise they've had it. Ciao, sayonara, adieu, whatever. I'm talking about America's Next Top Model of course and our dear desi friend Anchal. Ok ABCD (American Born Confused Desi) to be more precise but there's a desi in there somewhere. I say somewhere because the poor girl wore blue contact lenses and was ashamed of her color growing up. Personally, I would attribute that more to Bollywood and the Indian obsession with fair skin than growing up in Homestead, Florida.

Let's focus on the 'C' in 'ABCD' for a minute. Confused, scared and insecure to be more precise. I wanted to slap some sense into this dusky beauty. Running off like a scared cat from each assignment is not the way to go. Especially with bitches like Melrose around. And boy did the show producers have fun focusing on her repeated "I can't do that", "I'm too fat", "I have no friends" bit. In tonight's show she didn't want to take her sarong off on the beach because she felt she was overweight. Listen honey, you shake 'em Indian hips and do your desi-ghee (clarified butter & Indian food staple) feeding mamma proud.

Ok have you seen Anchal's before shots? Oh you should. Looks almost freakish. She's come a long way but was clearly not ready to go all the way. It was sad to see her go on tonight's show, since I'm so patriotic and all but oh well she's 19...me thinks she'll grow up into a less confused ABD. Maybe even hit Bollywood sans blue contact lenses? Oooh that's a tough one.

Beauty & The Trashy Beast

Oh the words "irreconcilable differences" just make me tingle. Especially when it has to do with a pop diva and a trashy wannabe rapper. No I'm not talking about Whitney & Bobby....I'm talking trash of a paler shade: Britney and Kevin.

And just like with politics where we quickly forgive and forget, we are ready to embrace the new-found K'Fed'less Britney with her new blonde-again hair, sexy body and the promise of a new album next year. We will quickly forget the chubby, black-haired, I shop at 'Foxy Lady' about to drop her son any-second-now Britney, that has plagued the media for the last few years.

It was all Kevin-the- "toxic" loser's fault after all. Now that he's gone, we can believe everything will be ok again. Heck, we'll believe anything.

These two are almost like the Clintons.

Saddam's in for a hanging (word on the street says it's going to be a Holiday Hanging), Rummy's finally over and out (Hallelujah!) and the Dem's finally have a say (and something to say I'm hoping).
Stay tuned. These are good times.

This Ain't No Comeback Bitches!

Hi. I'm back.
Just when I was about to quit my frivolous blogging lifestyle, a friend asks me "why haven't you been blogging lately?' Dammit. I was hoping no one would notice.
How can I quit knowing that this one person is actually reading what I have to write? I wont be able to sleep at night. I have undertaken a responsibility I can't shrug off.

Jon Stewart of the famed Daily Show (which I adore as you may know) seemed to think so too last night. He was chatting with Jerry Seinfeld and asked him when Jerry thought he (Jon) could quit the show. Jerry said never...The Daily Show (TDS) is like the paper. "The New York Times isn't just going to get up and quit one day".

I was at a digital media conference the other day and they were talking about TDS replacing the news for so many young people. Then a smart panelist quipped that this simply isn't true...you cant understand and enjoy TDS unless you know the news. It's true. Although I have to admit -- everything I know about mid-term elections I learned from a cartoon on TDS last night. The gist of it being that mid-term elections are very useless.

I got a postcard from some dude this morning saying 'Stop Bush. Vote today'. Can someone please explain to me exactly how voting today is going to stop Bush from doing anything?
Mostly I try not to think about these things because I can't vote. Give me a Green Card and then we'll talk.

My. So much has happened in the world since my last post. I know, I know, I always say that. A lot has been going on with Jolie & Pitt in Pune by the way. A juicy tidbit...
My sister's head professor in a Pune Med school also heads the Association for Buddhist chanting (yes they have one) and apparently sat down with Angie for about 3 hours (alone mind you) chanting. Good stuff. Everyone is now asking him "Zolie la bhetla ka?" (did you meet Jolie..?) Maharashtrians (the State Pune is in is called Maharashtra..the capital of which is Bombay/Mumbai and the people are Maharashtrian and speak Marathi) cannot say 'J' they say 'Z' instead.
Trivial. Especially in the face of Britney splitting with K-Fed. What???? I'm reeling in shock.
And what is up with her popping up on David Letterman last night looking for Will Ferrel? Weird. But dude. The hot, blonde pre-trashy K-Fed days is back. Hurrah!
Oh this is going to be a fun blogging week!

Masala Popcorn 5...a continuing series of spicy goodness.

Speaking of popcorn, I'm crunching on some extremely yummy organic popcorn from Pret (Pret a Manger) and to warn you in advance this post is a big (and very unpaid) promotion for Pret.

Pret a Manger is a British chain with a French name (go figure) which we are so lucky to have here in New York. What's the big deal you say? The big deal is that I'm sick of looking for food without ingredients that I can't prounounce, are more than 6 syllables long and would win high points in Scrabble. I can't find bread without High Fructose corn syrup. Eggs and chicken look like they're from a time when dinosaurs roamed the earth.
I'm not Fred Flintstone. I don't need a chicken leg bigger than my head. This is why Fred was a fat guy despite 'running' his car and bowling nights.

Pret, good ol' Pret actually gets that. I can go in there and know that everything is fresh, organic and yummy. Made with real-deal ingredients that mamma would use. Trust me. I have spent a lot of time on their website, reading the small print.

I'm not saying low-fat, I'm not saying carb-free, I'm talking about the good old days of regular size (meaning a quarter of the size you normally get) portions of wholesome food. No additives, artifical flavors or preservatives. Phew.

They source all their ingredients locally, supporting local businesses. They make everything fresh each morning and donate the day's leftovers to a charity that feeds New York's homeless. How great is that?

The ability to buy a half sandwich which looks like something I would make at home (meaning I don't need to dislodge my jaw to bite into it) coupled with a small cup of soul-warming not-out-of-a-can soup makes me a super happy person. And even though it's a 'soda' (albeit a healthier one) ...do try my favorite drink ever 'Yoga Bunny Detox'. I have a thing for good naming systems...

Arif & Pitt bond.

I have critical new information on Pitt-Jolie in Pune.

The rickshaw driver who took them on their famed 20 minute rickshaw ride through my beautiful home city has been identified as Arif Mohammed Hussain Bohri.
At 27 his life has changed forever. The media is hounding him, the rickshaw driving crowd all want to be him.

A simple man. Driving his rickshaw around town. This day was like any other. He picked up a couple in Lullanagar (very close to my house in Pune incidentally) who said they wanted to go to Le Meridien. They were a friendly couple and chattered excitedly about going to see a 'film shooting' at the hotel. He dropped them off. The hotel was chaotic with reporters and photographers. Must be someone famous he thought but wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible. Just as he was about to zip off, a hotel employee grabbed him. " We need you just for 15 minutes," he said and led Arif into the basement of the hotel.

He had no idea how famous the three people were who sooned climbed into his rickshaw. He was instructed to drive them around the city for a bit -just generally show them around. But everywhere he zoomed, the photographers and journalists followed. It wasn't a fun ride and soon the man in the back seat asked him to return to the hotel.

This is my favorite part: He had no idea how famous these people were until an employee back at the hotel said to him "Jitna Amitabh Bachchan India mein famous hai, yeh dono utne duniya mein famous hai" (this couple is as famous around the world as Amitabh Bachchan is in India).

Pitt even patted him on the back and called him "a nice man, a good driver" and the hotel gave him 500 rupees (just over 10 dollars) for what would have been a 60 rupee ride.

Oh dear.

I'm turning into a trashy tabloid journalist. Sigh. Well at least I am not saying "Pitt and Jolie forced to flee in rickshaw after media hounds them". Forced? Flee? It was a rickshaw ride! Life is a rickshaw ride. Gettit?

Googleization of The Universe.

What did I say about Google on Friday? That they were buying YouTube. Of course it was all talk then but I just knew it would happen. Now of course it's all over the news. You heard it here first!

For a paltry $1.65 billion (did you say billion?) our beloved timepass, crack-me-up, video-sharing site is about to be Google-ized forever. But then poor Google "Sitting on some $10 billion in cash, Google CEO Eric Schmidt told TIME recently that figuring out what to do with all that money was one of the company's key priorities"
Let's see...can you spell "C-H-A-R-I-T-Y".

Talk to Bill (Gates) willya?

Sindh Society: Back to it's Roots.

Aundh (pronounced as Owwwwnthe) is a quiet, upscale area on the outskirts of Pune. Not downtown Pune. More like uptown. Jeez.

Not so quiet anymore. Pitt and Jolie are shooting in a gated community there called 'Sindh Society'. Coincidently, Sindh is a region in Pakistan, the capital of which is Karachi. Karachi is where Pearl was killed.

I'm answering my why Pune question from before (read the post below).

The people of Sindh (Sindhi's) are Hindu and were forced to flee Pakistan during the partition of India in 1947 and migrated all over India as refugees. Many of them congregated in and around Pune, including Aundh. And of course created a 'hood' for themselves called Sindh Society...filled with posh bungalows and several cars to a driveway. These were the not-so-poor refugees.

But let it be known that the partition was extremely painful to all Sindhis. They were forced out of their country which was technically now Pakistan. I have heard many stories from my grandparents of them leaving behind their homes, their palaces, their jewels and cars and servants, their Muslim neighbors whom they loved, their homeland, riding across the border hiding and trembling with fear in freight trains. Enduring a journey that lasted a whole day and a night knowing they may be discovered and killed any minute.
It was a time when Hindus crossing the border were likely to be killed by Muslims and vice versa.

How ironic now that Sindh Society with it's Pakistan-loathing, not-so-poor Sindhi refugees, is now being depicted as and transformed into Karachi for this movie...

Hollywood Rickshaw Rides.

Pune is finally on the world map. Thanks to Brangelina. That's right! Brad and Angie and little Maddox are camping out (in Le swanky Meridien of course) in "downtown" Pune (someone tell the media that Pune does not have a downtown. It has a "city" and a "camp". Thanks) shooting the new Daniel Pearl movie, A Mighty Heart, that Brad's (and ex-wife's) film company is producing. Interesting .
Pakistan refused to let them shoot the movie there so Pune it was (?) ...wonder why they picked Pune of all the non-Pakistan places?
Oh well. Good for my sleepy yet crazy little city except naturally the media and locals are going nuts.

So Brangelina decide to escape the papparazzi outside the hotel and dash out in a rickshaw. I love rickshaws (see picture on my profile). But let me tell you something about rickshaws-no windows, no doors = no privacy and lots of pollution. The average hottie in a rickshaw (I'm drawing from personal experience here :) has an average of 2-3 bikes chasing her so I really don't know what Brad and Jolie were thinking! No hats, no headscarfs, no weird masks...just plain old sunglasses (Brad where were your sunglasses?) and 5-yr old sunglassless Maddox sitting between mommy and daddy. Tres inconspicuous. Not. Of course it was going to get crazy! Cute but not so clever idea.

The only famous gora (white dude) who has managed to pull off the whole rickshaw deal was Richard Branson who drove around Delhi in a Virgin branded rickshaw to promote the airline's new London-Delhi route. Mighty famous but old bearded dude is not so fun to chase.

So anyway Brad & Angie's rickshaw ride didn't really work out for too long and they zipped back to the hotel 20 minutes later. I heard that the rickshaw driver was interviewed on the radio this morning...he must be so famous in the rickshaw scene right now.

The American media is making the whole mob slash papparazzi 'enthusiasm' sound so evil which is really pissing me off. "Brangelina attacked in India". Attacked? Oh please. The only person being attacked was some Brit Papparazzi dude who was almost strangled by the sexy couple's security guard (one of many) when he tried to snap a pic after being told not to. Yawn. Tell me something new.

Brangelina (can someone ban this conjoined naming system?) plan to be in Pune for a while shooting this movie..will keep you posted on the inside gossip!

Me Need A Drink.

How cool for students of Emory University that Salman Rushdie is joining their faculty for the next five years. Wow imagine having him as your English teacher? Sweet!

Is it just me or is every single website I use in Beta mode? It's driving me crazy! I mean I want to switch to Beta in the spirit of being a web early adopter and all but frankly there are so many bugs (as I have been encountering here at blogger) that it's a bit of a risk. Once you go Beta you can't go back.
Isn't that mean? They tempt you to experiment with them and their new tricks and tools but there is no way back to the old version.

Everywhere I turn I am being forced to make a committment. Damn it.

I think I've said this before but I essentially go through phases of major news abosrption and then major news ignorance. Everytime I come out of the ignorance phase as a result of ultimately feeling guiltily clueless, I want to run back into my sheltered news ignorant world. Why?

Because I don't want to hear that sweet little Amish buggy children are being shot (why does the media insist on repeating the words 'execution style'?) and other angels are being abused by asshole politicians and clergymen (can someone explain to me why castration hasn't been instituted as a federal punishment yet?) It's all so terribly sad and depressing. And yes Google is buying Youtube...Google is buying everything people. I refuse to bat an eyelid at any more Apple and Google related business news. GoogApple is here to rule the world one nano search at a time. Got it?

Now that we have that settled and out of the way...

Happy Weekend! I need to go find another Miss Sunshine-esque movie and get me some 80's dance moves...

Too Cool for A Twinkie.

Work is absorbing me like a premium quality diaper. That and I'm having committment issues. To my blog that is.
Sorry. September wasn't a hot blogging month for me. But October. Yes the turning leaves bring much hope.
Oh where shall I begin? So much has happened in the world!

Well let me start by saying I just couldn't get over Pervez on the Daily Show. I mean what was that all about!!! He got way more media attention chez Jon than any other official business he was here for. I mean what a load of media attention he got! Anyone have a clue what he was here for, other than promoting his book of course? And what is up with writing a book when you're still in office? Risky business my friend. His country must think so too as I just read about another attempted bombing near his house last night. Hmmm maybe he'll move to America.

Behind all that security and bullet-proof glass at the Daily Show studio, the President looked pretty darn spiffy. He's a smart chap, expensive suit, speaks well (no subtitles needed here), didn't say anything silly (even when Stewart begin with a "where's Osama?"), politelty laughed at Jon's comedy showing a lighter side and didn't touch the jasmine green tea or god forbid the 'twinkie'. Smart chap.

Black tea would have been the way to go.

And who in God's name offers a President in office a twinkie?

Yes it might be one of America's most loved and precious snacks that has been "tantalizing taste buds for the last 75 years" but so has Parle G and would we offer Parle G to Bush if he came to India? Ok maybe we might but at least it has glucose in it (that way he wouldn't fall asleep in public again). But Twinkies?

Twinkies are the ultimate junk food, sugar, high fructose corn syrup, lard, beef fat (gross)and about 17 chemical ingredients you have never heard of plus it comes in a plastic wrapper with a dubiously long shelf-life...did we say tantalizing?

Excuse me while I barf for a second here.

Huff Away.

If you haven't heard of Arianna Huffington you are clearly not with it in the world we call the blogosphere.
The Huffington Post is an interesting blog...check it out if you haven't already.

But the story du jour is her new and 11th book 'On Becoming Fearless'. We were lucky to have Arianna do a quick stopover on her way to the Colbert Report yesterday afternoon. We being the place I work at we.

I have to admit when I first saw her (she walked right past me and I tried to smile but couldn't get over how much makeup she was wearing) I was quick to judge. And then when she started to talk in her super thick accent (Greek) I was not prepared to be impressed. But I was wrong. She's a smart cookie with plenty zeal and even though she quotes many French poets and authors, and shows off about her Cambridge education and all the fabulous things she did at 23...she deserves muchos kudos for being a smart, passionate and very intelligent woman. And she gave it to Colbert last night on his show. Put him in right in his place, smugness and everything. Colbert can be so annoying sometimes, detracting from his interviews just to have the last word or laugh and prove his superiority. Yawn.

I didn't get a free copy of the book, and even though it sounds mildly generic (loving mother imparting knowledge and secrets to becoming fearless to teenage daughters coupled with political fire) Arianna's delivery of the core elements of her book was compelling and often humourous.

In short:
-There's an annoying roommate in your head. Evict him/her. For Arianna, the roommate is Colbert. Go figure. I'm trying to keep this short people.
-Use common sense and some good old fashioned tools to combat your fears. Have a theme song that calms you, get plenty sleep (she had a lot to say about sleep depravation being a weakening agent) and employ a fearlessness 'tribe'-peeps that will be on your side unconditionally.
-Have a hero, an icon, a role model for fearlessness. Someone guts and glory. Preferably your mother.
-My favorite: We all have so many things we want to do in life. The best way of 'checking off' this to-do list is to accept that certain things just wont get done. Learning German, mastering ballet or becoming a painter, whatever it is just forget about it...focus on one passion and pursue it with all your heart. Omit the clutter in your head and create some space to focus on the good stuff.

Anyway gotta dash, Musharraf is appearing on my beloved Daily Show. I just can't believe it! Pervez and Jon heart to heart? In the seat of heat and everything! Oh boy, this will be interesting.

Extreme Giggles.

It's barely dropping below 60 degrees and already the toys are coming out in full force. Remastered nanos in many new colors (oh no wait there will be at least three new products released before December...Apple's strategy seems to be centered around making you feel bad and redundant for what you just bought. Sigh.) and "extreme" Elmo.
Extreme what?

That's right. The adorable red fuzzy guy who rakes in millions being tickled. Now that's what you call a beautiful life.

So some marketing guys sat around at the toy company and thought to themselves, how can we possibly make Tickle Me Elmo more exciting and sell more fuzzy red guys? Aaaah the brainwave. The outside-the-box thinking in full action.
We'll make him laugh harder. That's what we'll do. I mean real people don't just giggle cutely when they are tickled. They roll over, slap their thighs, pound their fists on the floor, double over. Genius. Make Elmo really laugh 'extreme'ly hard.

I can't get over the fact that they are actually naming the doll (sorry dude you're a guy and all but you're a doll) 'Tickle Me Extreme Elmo' aka TMX. Elmo. TMX sounds almost evil. The only thing extreme about this toy is going to be the extreme shortage during the holidays and crazy prices on eBay and the media hype that will follow. Eye roll. Ok, ok talk to me five years from now and I'll be one of those frantic parents with the frantic children screaming "mommy, mommy I have to have it."

Those marketing guys really knew what they were doing.

The new doll is in fact pretty darn hilarious. I recommend the easy way-watch a video of him 'cracking up' online. At first it's a little weird, especially when he's just standing and laughing hysterically (I don't think he should stand at all) but the minute he falls backwards and laughs -my favorite when he is on his tummy banging his head and hands on the floor, the thigh slapping is pretty funny too...you will find yourself smiling, laughing even. It takes a while to warm up to it.

I can see kids loving this obviously (and some being plain scared...how many toddlers have had a good hearty laugh like that before?) and what is cuter than kids giggling? Oh but if I were a mom I would go crazy listening to that laugh over and over again. We all know kids love repetition just like teens listening to JT on repeat mode. Yikes. Now that's extreme.
For us grown-ups, watching TMX Elmo reminds us of a time when we laughed like that and the memory makes us smile more than the robotic dancing doll...or not.

Good Device, Bad Device.

What good am I, if I can't talk about advertising!
Ok have you guys seen this website?
http://www.shaveeverywhere.com
This guy just cracks me up! Ooh maybe I shouldn't say cracks.

I saw an ad for Disney mobile flaunting their keep tabs on your kids via GPS feature. What are the poor children of today to do? Getting a cell phone is highly desirable but now your parents know where you are every second of the day? Shites. What happened to the days of loitering, skipping school and going to the movies instead? Now your mom can find out exactly which theatre you are at and show up there to not only throw your entire bucket of popcorn over your head but also ruin a perfectly high-potential date.

Sigh. I feel bad for today's kids. Their risk-taking abilities have been minimized and pretty much nullified by technology. I mean hey, you can say "my battery died"...but there are only so many times mom will buy that. They also have features called call control and family monitoring adding on all kinds of restrictions on who you talk to and how long you talk for.
Frankly I would not want that cell phone if I were a kid. In fact, I would pray to not get one..even write to Santa about it.

Isn't this a bad move for Disney? The NY Times quoted "Disney Phones has parents in mind"...ya-ha but at the cost of kids hating you for completely ruining their lives? I thought Disney was all about the kids. Traitors.

The Chimp & The Banana.

I tried to stay awake during Bush's speech last night. I really did.
I'm sorry but I only see a monkey face. I just can't take him seriously anymore (like since the last 5 years). So instead, I tried to focus on the photo frame behind him - a cutesy picture of his twin daughters Barbara and Jenna. But then I started thinking about them and their alcohol possession charges. Oh whatever! Who am I to judge? They're kids and kids party. Besides, if Bush was my dad, I would be drinking a lot.
See? Clearly distracted and not listening to the chimp. Oh did I say monkey before?

Speaking of chimps and monkeys (see how I love to connect topics?) what was the deal with Sharapova and the banana? Here is what she had to say:
"I believe, at the end of the day, personally, my life is not about a banana," Sharapova said Saturday night. "It's not about what I wear. It's not about the friends that I have. My career right now is about winning a tennis match. And right now, I'm sitting here as a U.S. Open champion, and the last thing I think people need to worry about is a banana."

We aren't worrying Sharry. We just don't want you doing any banana commercials or anything...you know like becoming the next Miss Chiquita banana. Based on your track record, we don't think you would be able to balance a fruit basket on your head (falling trophy tops come to mind.)

Oh Nike how we love thee. You made us all feel so pretty during the Open. And lucky for you, your pretty girl made it all the way to the finish line in first place in her pretty black dress (I was hoping for all-over sequins for the final...can't believe she repeated her outfit...oh sorry it's not about what she wears.)

Have you noticed more and more desi's (Indian/Paki..generally South Asian) showing up in ads? There were two in the So Pretty Nike ad! Out of the twenty people singing to Sharapova, two were Indian! That's a full 10%. And just to keep it balanced, one was a maid with a thick accent and one a hot tennis player. Nice.

Remembering.

As I write this post the second tower fell 5 years ago. 10:26 a.m.
Right here in our beloved city of New York.

The conductor announced "World Trade Center train" this morning, as he does every single morning of my commute to work, but today it made me queasy. I ride into Ground Zero every single morning as the Path train comes right into the site after crossing the river...but this morning was different. As different as the last 4 anniversaries of 9/11.

While getting ready for work, I watched the remembrance ceremonies on TV but 11 minutes later the remembrance was no longer simply a televised event. I could hear it, see it and breathe it.

As our train snaked into WTC, we could see throngs of officers, officials and people who had lost loved ones. The wives, the children, the mothers and fathers. The names of people who died on this tragic day were being read out. When I left home they were in the B's. When I reached WTC they were in the F's. I stood and watched, eyes welled with tears. Us Path train commuters probably had the closest public view to the ceremony.

This is all too real for us. This is not simply something awful you see on a screen. Every day as I head from the Path train to the NYC subway line -also in the World Trade Center, I pass a pillar with a sign that reads "these pillars are part of the original World Trade Center structure". Today I reached out and touched the pillar standing real and strong. Five years ago, this pillar was a nobody, nothing but a pillar whose sole purpose in life was to support something...today I want to hug it and cry. Today it supports my emotions. It bears so many memories and so much sorrow. Not a strong pillar but a pillar of strength.

One can never fully grasp the events that happened that day. No matter how many movies, documentaries and shows are made, there will always be brand new shock and horror, tears and anguish. I felt it all over again when I watched "9/11" on CBS last night. I just kept thinking..."I walk through this place every single day, I can't believe this is what happened here."

I don't know how I feel about CNN (Online) broadcasting the real news as it played that day - do we really need to re-live every single second of that day? Isn't walking through this gaping hole in the ground enough to bear? And why is the hole still a 70-foot-deep hole? The entire West side of the city can develop and bust out scores of high-rises in the last five years and we can't build anything to fill the void in the downtown skyline? A shrine for friends and family to visit? I don't want to ride into a dusty crater every morning. 10 feet high or a thousand feet high...we'll take anything.

Letter To Suri

Dear Suri,
Welcome to the world...cute little thing that you are. Not too many babies get a 22-page spread in Vanity Fair as their debutante appearance and have aunty Couric introduce them on national television.

The world couldn't wait to see you Suri...being the fruit of Tom's loins and all. In fact, 'people' made up lots of stories about you and your mommy and daddy because they couldn't see you and didn't know what you looked like. They needed to see your 10 little fingers and 10 chubby little toes to make sure you were normal and not an alien baby. They made up nasty stories about you and your mommy and daddy.

You are old enough to know your daddy is crazy but poor mommy...she didn't do anything wrong! ...Other than Dawson's Creek and some really bad acting in Batman Begins. She didn't even jump on Oprah's couch! But she did get knocked up by the best looking weirdo in the world.
You can't blame the media, Suri. Daddy was being a greedy man and asking for a lot of money for your photo especially because around the same time you were born, Angelina aunty and Brad uncle had pretty Shiloh who might be your friend when you grow up. We'll see.

Mommy's pissed at the media Suri. Of course you exist! You are a beautiful baby girl with black hair and papa's eyes. But hiding you from the world for almost five months wasn't the way to go. People are mean Suri.

They are trying to auction your poop on eBay even as I write this to you.

Mommy and daddy had to work hard to be famous (mommy - a little less hard) and they don't get that you aren't just another baby...you my little one are a celebrity at birth. The more they try to protect you, the more rumours will churn. Regular celebrities can get away with protecting their kids from the paparazzi for a little while but your papa refuses to be a regular celebrity.
Suri, I hope you grow up to be kind, wise and beautiful. You clearly won't need help with the latter.

Lots of Love,
Aunty Nams

I'm in Beta

Many of you have been complimenting the new look of my blog. Merci! This is all thanks to the new Blogger in Beta which is far more user-friendly.
There are still bugs they are working on fixing however, one being that you can't post or read comments -well you can but the link doesn't show up below my posts. Please click on the time and the 'post a comment' link should appear...retarded I know-but hopefully they (Google peeps) will fix it soon.

Jalebi's, Ball Girl Beauty Queen & "Agassi Agony"

It was so funny to see so many desi's at the U.S. Open! I guess we have an affinity for Tennis...more so than baseball or American football anyway. Besides, our sporting choices are limited here. Although can I just tell you that the other day I came across a cricket club in a rich suburb of Philly (The Philadelphia Cricket Club)! I was so surprised...and yes they actually play cricket there.
Anyway, I digress.

Oh the Open! It was such a great experience! I can't believe I've been in New York for five years now and I never made the trek out to the Arthur Ashe statium in Flushing, Queens. But the trek was worth every second of subway car sardinery. Hey I'm no Sporty Spice (although I did play some Tennis as a kid) but just being at the U.S. Open makes you feel part of the game! I could get used to this...feeling so sporty without even having to pick up a racket! Aaah the joy of spectator sports. And you could even buy Serena Williams' dress there. Fashion in sport...perfect!

We saw two really great matches, Williams Vs. Mauresmo, man to man. And Hewitt ("Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie, oye,oye,oye"...Aussie fans rock) versus dynamite Gasquet (hot little French boy.)
Speaking of hot and little, the ball girl in the men's round (the real men) was such a Sharapova in the making that the audience couldn't stop hooting and whistling at her...she was taken off court in the last set because she was quite the distraction! I always feel bad for the poor little ball boys and girls who work so hard for such little glory, but Miss ball girl USA 2006 was quite the star at yesterday's match. This is clearly becoming a phenomena as sponsors like Ralph Lauren "bring sexy back"...to the tennis courts. Why just Miss Sharapova?
(Ball) girls just wanna have fun too.
http://usopen.blogs.nytimes.com/?p=116

You the know the U.S. Open has a large Indian audience when there is a Baluchi's (Indian food chain) on campus. There I was in "Agassi-Agony", courtside at Ashe, eating my comfort food chicken tikka masala and jalebis...
That Agassi brings out the tear-factory in me.
Oh but there is hope...a quote from Agassi's coach: "Of course, we’ll always have Agassi II,’’ said the coach, Shay. “Have you seen his son hit a ball? Holy shit. His son can hit a ball, man.

Steve the Brave.

I'm shocked to read about the death of Steve Irwin this morning. Steve the crazy crocodile man, the Ozzie dude who exposed himself to the most dangerous animals and reptiles in the world, a modern day Crocodile Dundee.
Steve was filiming a documentary in the Great Barrier Reef and was struck fatally in the chest by a Stingray barb. Stingrays are big flat blobbish-looking ocean creatures known to be placid, harmless and sometimes even playful. Usually, only when provoked, they will shoot up their razor-sharp barb-tipped tails. These attacks are deadly but rarely result in actual death. The last time someone in Australia died from a stingray barb was in 1945.
It saddens me deeply, that a man who continuously played with his life in the face of the planet's most feared creatures, died under these bizarre circumstances. What are the chances of having a stingray barb pierce you right through the heart?
It just goes to show that no matter what you do with your life, destiny has a plan for you that no amount of crocodile-wrestling even can change. At least he died doing what he loved.
As much as I always squirmed and screamed, watching Steve on TV (with half my face hidden under the blanket or through fingers covering my eyes) was always an amazingly thrilling experience.
R.I.P. mate.

Unleashing The Driver in Me.

Living across the river from the most un-parking friendly city in the world has its benefits. You can actually own a car, park your car for less than $400 a month and even drive your car to fabulous destinations like the Cheesecake Factory and outlet malls-with more parking! Oh the joy of a car is truly felt on rainy days (and weeks) such as these.

Let's face it. People in Manhattan who own cars are the same ones with either very, very rich Jewish grandmothers or who wake up at 6 a.m. every morning to move the car they inherited during their college days, from one side of the street to the other-'tis the wonders of pre-8 a.m. street cleaning.

Once we acquired a car, I realized that I needed to re-acquire some driving skills. Getting a license was the easy part. Shocker of shockers, if you have an Indian driver's license, New Jersey pretty much hands you a state license. No driving test required. Yep, thats right. I only needed to pass the eye exam and written test (which I failed the first time round-why are there so many legal questions? Oh right. This is New Jersey.)
I just can't get over the fact that my itty-bitty pamphlet of an Indian driving license got me a plastic ticket to driving freedom! I mean you can practically make those things at home!

See, I learned to drive in Pune. That right there is a problem. Pune driving is unlike driving anywhere else in the world. Buffalos serve as stop signs, rickshaws and cyclists are your side view mirrors, because you have none (the buffalos would knock them off!) and roads are like moon craters. The key to Pune driving is to look straight ahead, avoid looking in the rear-view mirror at all times or some guy on a bike will think you like him, grab the shift stick with dear life and don't even think about hitting those brakes!

I loved every second of driving in Pune. Not always loving the actual driving, but loving the exploration and navigation of my world that was Pune. My home, my friends, my college, my grandmother's house, my Accounting classes, my bars, my clubs, my coffee shop...mapped out from one end of the city to the other. I practically lived out of my car.

The first thing that got to me when I started driving here in Jersey is how many rules and signs there are. I just wasn't used to looking in all these mirrors, looking out for all these signs and actually stopping at a red light. It's all so distracting. I mean how are you supposed to drive when there are like a hundred things to focus on? And don't even get me started on the Jersey Highways! The whole experience is so intimidating!

Once you get used to it though, it's not such a big deal. The first few months I was like an old Parsi aunty driving a Fiat but then I quickly realized driving in Jersey is not that different from driving in Pune minus the Buffalos of course. Oh there are equivalents of Buffalos here in Jersey but that aside, finally I am beginning to experience the pleasures of the wind in my hair, radio jammin' kind of driving, living it up till I have to succumb to the evils of mass transit Monday morning...